Dieing To Be Accepted

[John Peterson]

Hey Friends,


I received an e-mail asking me if I knew that a young man in Florida had informed fellow bloggers at a Bodybuilding web-site that he was going to kill himself and then proceeded to do exactly that while on live web-cam as several fellow bloggers at the bodybuilding site were ridiculing him and encouraging him to do it and get it over with. Truthfully, I had not been aware of it until I was informed about it. So I went to the link that was provided. Needless to say, I wish this kid had come here instead of there.

Here's the deal, this nineteen year old kid was totally down on himself and was reaching out. Obviously he was at the bodybuilding site in hopes of finding some way to better himself so that he could feel as though he could somehow, in someway "measure up". He stated that he hated himself. That he had let every one down. And was totally undeserving of the girl that he was in love with. In short, he needed friends to encourage him and assure him that with the right attitude and right actions he could have a great life that would be the inevitable result of those right and positive actions.

Bottom line: this was one troubled kid and it's sad that instead of helping him, his fellow bloggers could only ridicule and push him to actually take his own life while they were saying things like "Do it faggot." . Those that participated in pushing this young man to take his own life are in part responsible for his death.They are like human hyenas that feast on carrion and squalor. But this is exactly what happens and what can be expected when mean spirited and exceedingly rude, low life people are allowed to participate and drag others down.

---John Peterson

[Nathan]

Hey John,

All I can say my friend is that those people are in a way murderers. Instead of trying to help him and lift him up like decent people would. They threw him in the dirt and ended up killing this poor kid. Like you said I also wish he would have came here instead of there. I am completely positive he would have found what he was looking for here. Now all I have left to say is that I will pray for his family and the people he left behind. So anyway All the best my brother.

---Nathan

[Duracell]

I´m really shocked now, what a tragedy. So sad.

[tom]

The kid killed himself. I'm sorry he was in pain. I'm sorry for those who are suffering now. Those who gleefully hurt others, directly or behind the safety of the screen, have their own pain and now they have more of it. However, the kid killed himself. I wish he had found the help that would have helped. But if it hadn't been that site of jerks, it would have been somewhere else where he could dig himself into a hole and pull the dirt down upon himself.

It would have been nice if he could have gone to professionals, counselors, relatives, neighbors, or even this site. At the age of nineteen, he didn't - he chose that one. Those who chose to participate became actors in his play which he was directing. It is sad and bad choices all around. I don't think those who were rude to him are murderers, nor was it their directing that brought this play to its end. They will have to come to terms with themselves as to the involvement they chose.

By the way, don't forget that the news and story did not follow up on the many who did not participate in the rudeness and crudeness in those threads.

John is right, this is a great and safe place for people to come for information, healthy support, and civility. I appreciate the cleanness and friendliness of our group and the tone of encouragement and helpfulness. Because of that tone, it is a safe haven for any who want something positive in their life. I don't know if we could have helped that kid find what he needed, but we certainly would have tried. He would have been safe from name-calling, vulgarity, and badgering.

I've written about this before, but my favorite quote of all time was spoken by a man with his own demons, sins, and pain, a scorned man. That's the point, it doesn't matter who the person is, Thomas Jefferson or Rodney King, it points to the biggest truth in the world:
"Can't we all just get along?"

People seem to look away politely a lot when I mention that just remembering hearing that for the first time hits me somewhere deep in the gut. They look even farther away and downright uncomfortable when I wonder if that wasn't the Second Coming and we missed it.

Waxing philosophical after my weekly Saturday brunch,
Tom

[Alan_OldStudent]

I work at a pediatric hospital, and when I read about this, I actually shed tears.

Too bad he didn't have a chance to read about our kid brother Nate.

Regards,

Alan

[John Peterson]

Hey Friends,

Sometimes when we read about things like this young man that took his own life we can't help but wonder why anyone has to experience so much personal pain and suffering. But when we do, I hope that it makes us more aware of how important the simple act of kindness to others truly is. In my opinion it is the most God like trait that any human being can exhibit. And best of all, it's to everyone's benefit. Especially our own when we give it. Think about it. Kindness doesn't cost us anything to give. It makes us feel good about ourselves. It gives us nothing to ever regret. And it may make all the difference in someone else's life when we take the time to acknowledge them and to affirm them.

With that said I want each of you to know that I appreciate the wonderful and kind hearted people that are members of this forum. May God Bless each of You.

---John Peterson

[Hank_Z]

Hey Friends,

Sometimes when we read about things like this young man that took his own life we can't help but wonder why anyone has to experience so much personal pain and suffering. But when we do, I hope that it makes us more aware of how important the simple act of kindness to others truly is. In my opinion it is the most God like trait that any human being can exhibit. And best of all, it's to everyone's benefit. Especially our own when we give it. Think about it. Kindness doesn't cost us anything to give. It makes us feel good about ourselves. It gives us nothing to ever regret. And it may make all the difference in someone else's life when we take the time to acknowledge them and to affirm them.

With that said I want each of you to know that I appreciate the wonderful and kind hearted people that are members of this forum. May God Bless each of You.

---John Peterson

John, you expressed your thoughts and feelings so beautifully. You spoke simply and eloquently for us who have the privilege of being on this forum. As was also touched by Alan's post that appeared right ahead of yours.

I expected depression so severe in 1984 to 1987 that I thought about suicide almost every waking seconds for months at a time. Every medication known to man, electric shock "therapy", and four hospitalizations in psychiatric hospitals failed to help.

I'm very fortunate to be alive. After I recovered, I volunteered at a suicide hot line because I knew what people were going through. I've talked about my depression freely, because so many people's lives have been affected by severe depression.

What's so horrible to imagine is people urging this poor young man to go ahead and take his life. Yes, he's the one who took the overdose. But he was in such a fragile and susceptible state than most people can never fully understand.

John, thanks again for your message, which each of us can apply in our own lives.

- Hank

- Hank

[JoeJustice]

This is just sad.

Is it possible that the people egging the boy on thought he was just doing a stunt? Just trying to get attention? Maybe they never really thought he was actually killing himself. I'd like to think they were ignorant rather than malicious. It seems horrible that people would encourage such behavior. But then again don't some people yell, "JUMP!" when they see someone standing on a ledge?

Just sad...

-Joe

P.S. Hank I'm glad you pulled through! Glad to have you here.

[tom]

Beautiful, John.

Tom

[Nathan]

Hey Alan,

I can say I had the exact opposite of experience of this kid. I talked to John about this yesterday and truly couldn't believe those people (if that is what you would like to call them) would encourage this kid to take his life instead of trying to talk him out of it.

But like I said I was VERY luck to come to this site where EVERYONE tries to up lift each other and help one another. Instead of what happened to that poor kid.

So let me THANK ALL OF YOU for what you have done for me. For lifting me up, encouraging me, helping me with all of my goals, and just being AWESOME friends. Again thank you. All the best.


---Nathan

[Hank_Z]

This is just sad.

Is it possible that the people egging the boy on thought he was just doing a stunt? Just trying to get attention? Maybe they never really thought he was actually killing himself. I'd like to think they were ignorant rather than malicious. It seems horrible that people would encourage such behavior. But then again don't some people yell, "JUMP!" when they see someone standing on a ledge?

Just sad...

-Joe

P.S. Hank I'm glad you pulled through! Glad to have you here.

Like you, I'm thinking that a number of people didn't really think he would actually kill himself. But you're right that some people yell, "JUMP!". I'd have thought that at least one person would have contacted the website owner immediately and given the young man a chance to survive and find help.

Also, thanks for the kind words. It's great having friends like you.

- Hank

[gruntbrain]

Let's hope others will learn from this tragic death. When things go bad in this world( eg non acceptance by others) seek some divine guidance to establish a life's purpose; better yet, seek guidance even when things are good

[kelbiz]

John Peterson wrote

"This nineteen year old kid was totally down on himself and was reaching out. Obviously he was at the bodybuilding site in hopes of finding some way to better himself so that he could feel as though he could somehow, in someway "measure up". He stated that he hated himself. That he had let every one down. And was totally undeserving of the girl that he was in love with. In short, he needed friends to encourage him and assure him that with the right attitude and right actions he could have a great life that would be the inevitable result of those right and positive actions.

Bottom line: this was one troubled kid and it's sad that instead of helping him, his fellow bloggers could only ridicule and push him to actually take his own life while they were saying things like "Do it faggot." . Those that participated in pushing this young man to take his own life are in part responsible for his death.They are like human hyenas that feast on carrion and squalor. But this is exactly what happens and what can be expected when mean spirited and exceedingly rude, low life people are allowed to participate and drag others down."


Both sad and tragic. What is worse is these bloggers have never met this person, never shook his hand or looked him in the eye. Now it's too late. It really turns you off to the internet. I rate these low-life bttom feeders right down there with internet pedophiles. A major issue I have with blogs like that is those people on the other end of your "conversation" can say just about anything as far as how well they are built and how 'macho' they are, when in fact, this poor young man might have been above them in many ways. It's too bad his self-esteem was so low.

To say an upbuilding thing to someone else in no way diminishes anyones 'manliness'. In fact it only makes you more of a man. That site seems like it was without men.

Jack

[Hank_Z]

To say an upbuilding thing to someone else in no way diminishes anyones 'manliness'.

Jack

Well said, Jack.

Who among us does not feel better when someone says something uplifting to us? And it's so easy to do. We all have a need to be accepted and appreciated.

- Hank

[budgiefan]

I read about this a few days ago. The article I read didn't mention it was a bodybuilding sight, although I guess that doesn't really matter. There are horrible people haunting all kinds of sites.

The article I read mentioned that, yes there were people encouraging him to do it, but there were also people trying to talk him out of it. It also mentioned he'd had a history of depression.

There but for the grace of God go we. Every moment of health and clarity we have should be cherished as a gift from God.

[dynogoalie30]

It is a shame that those fellow bloggers on that web site did not try to help and encourage that young man to get some help, or the bloggers try to help him in a time of need, I worked with someone years ago, whos wife was bipolar, and somedays he would come into work just drained from the sistuation at home, I would make sure that I gave him positive reiforcement everyday and help uplift him, his wife did get the help she needed, and he allways said that he looked foreward working with me because I helped made his sistuation a little better for 8 hrs. It feels good to be able to reach out and help someone in need. Just like John and some of the others members said, that young man would have a safe haven here with us, and I totally agree.

[Kevin Nickerson]

To me this forum is a safe haven.Not only people with busted up weightlifters syndrome,but also busted up by life syndrome,.I like Hank suffered from severe depression,and ended up in the hospital twice,the second time I received electric shock therapy.This is really hard for me to talk about, my younger brother told me He called me,but I had no memory of the call whatsoever.I'm not bitter at people but the people I thought were my friends,came to see me,but I guess it is understandable.I would not discuss having or have had depression on another forum,because of the response.When I came on this forum a little over a year ago I said I suffered with depression and was not ridiculed or belittled but welcomed here.I don't post all the time but I'm logged into the forum a lot.None of us know what the other person has gone through in his or her life,but I believe empathy goes along way.Just being there to be a friend and building each other heals a lot of wounds,and makes it possible for you to do amazing things in your life,that you never thought you could do and try different things.Thank you all for your friendships I wish I could thank you all in person.I want to thank you john again for your friendship and again for this SAFE HAVEN!-Kevin.P.S I believe this place is a hidden treasure that people need to discover:highfive:

[monty]

5kevin7 ,

Thanks for sharing your experience, no one will riducule you for this challenge, it takes alot to talk about depression and takes alot of courage to do so, so thanks for sharing with all of us. We all have challenges to overcome some take a lifetime but the key is to keep fighting to get better, I am glad you have kept fighting this tough fight.

I also enjoy this sight due to all showing respect even when we disagree.

Thanks Golfnut and all for sharing your inspiring stories, keep them coming.

The world is a cold, cruel place and we all need a place to go to get built up and I feel this is one of the places.

I talked to John a few weeks ago and he is a great guy with a heart to help others attain good health, mentally and physically.

I feel we all want that for each other.

KEEP FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!

Monty

[Hank_Z]

Hi Kevin,

Thanks for sharing part of your life. Your message came from your heart. I'm so glad that you survived your depression.

Suffering from severe depression is something that most people can't understand. And there's no way to adequately describe what it's like to go through a series of electric shock treatments, is there?

As you say, John has made this forum a safe place to talk about our experiences that many other people would judge (and have judged) us for. During the years that I went through the severe depression, my best friend from high school wouldn't even talk to me. He wasn't a bad guy; he apparently saw my depression as something he was afraid of. That shocked me, because we had been such good friends for years.

As John wrote very recently, kindness goes a long ways and can make huge positive differences in people's lives.

- Hank

[Kevin Nickerson]

Thank you Hank, I very happy that you find this life changing place that builds up the whole person and helps them grow into the individual they were meant to be.A lot of people look at the cover without ever opening the book,I don't wish depression or whatever,but now I look at it as a blessing because it helped me to discover who I am,I don't have to be perfect or please every one.I went to school for peer counseling,but that's not what I'm doing right now<but what I learned I use at my job when I interact with students as well as fellow employies-Kevin

[VRT Man]

It's a shame that anonymity can turn people into such unfeeling creatures---like the anonymous Romans in the Colosseum giving thumbs down to allow one victorious gladiator to kill another. True compassion seems to be lacking nowadays, and the unfeeling anonymity of one hiding behind a "handle" makes it so damn easy.

My heart goes out to this young man's family, and I pray for him. What if the whole human race were like this? Would parents even raise their children anymore?

Greg Mangan
"VRT Man"

[MikeNY]

VRT man so well put, how heart breaking and his parents must be in so much pain right now. I saw this story on TV and it broke my heart, a kid 19 and gone. God bless him, his parents and all the good souls that see his tale.

[mrhealthpatriot]

The story of that young body builder is so tragic. On a side note, I think the 'net, magazines, and TV really influence the way we see ourselves. I think the message in PTYP and M7 about "becoming our God-given best" really bears repeating. Whether we are fat or skinny, or in-between we all have some issues.
Often, the models we see in the media is so "photo-shopped" that we probably wouldn't even recognize the person in real life.

[Grant Douglass]

G'day, it is a sad time when a fellow human being , is pushed to this extent ;
What is sadder is to hear about the others (friends)thru ignorance or stupidity only pushed this poor kid over the edge.

It scares me when the world sits by & does nothing but watch it all on ,some reality net or whatever.
I'M lucky that when i & others have faced THESE dark times , right people have offered their hands out to us .

Maybe if someone had reached out this kid would still be here!, maybe we should all STOP & listen CAREFULLY for the queit little cries for help that call us everyday.!


Be it a friend, family member, neighbour or even a TOTAL STRANGER.
sadly this kids act was a desperate cry for all of us to listen a little harder, to people in our lives.
digger

I'll tell my twin to look after him when he gets there.
This kid needs a true friend,
when he gets there hopefully he'll be surrounded by others who care.
"if not in this world the next!'
Digger TT2 Dougy