Greg Newton
09-08-2011, 06:06 PM
Predators can be physical, they can be sexual, they can be financial. They can even be emotional vampires for that matter. However, a predator, anything from a used car salesman trying to sell a lemon to a serial killer on the prowl for another victim have certain ploys in common that spins the victim into their web.
1. Charm and niceness - it is good to be nice. Beware of anyone too nice.
2. Discounting the word "NO." This is a red flag. No matter how much you say no, you might as well be whistling in the dark.
3. Loansharking - This is giving or offering to give an unasked for gift or favor. What this does is put the victim in debt to the predator.
4. Forced Teaming - Creating an articificial bond between them and the victim that isn't really there. "Hey, we're in this same boat together."
5. The Unsolicited Promise - Making promises to the victim that the victim didn't ask for. "Come on Jennifer, we'll stay for only a half hour. Just a half hour."
6. Flattery - Pump up the ego and the victim can be disarmed and led.
7. The Reverse Dare - "I bet you're the kind of person who is," afraid, paranoid, over-protective ,etc. to do what the predator is asking. To which the victim will rise to the bait and adamantly deny they were that kind of person and they'll do what the predator asked just to prove it.
A predator can play these seven strategies up and down like a musical scale. One minute flattering, the next discounting their lack of independence, they use charm, niceness and flattery to pull the victim close, then clinch the deal with creating a bond that isn't there, and giving unasked for gifts and promises.
Be careful. A predator is a sociopath who believes they are smarter than other people. It is a game to them to manipulate.
Greg Newton
* These strategies were taken from Gavin De Becker's excellent book on child protection, Protecting the Gift.
1. Charm and niceness - it is good to be nice. Beware of anyone too nice.
2. Discounting the word "NO." This is a red flag. No matter how much you say no, you might as well be whistling in the dark.
3. Loansharking - This is giving or offering to give an unasked for gift or favor. What this does is put the victim in debt to the predator.
4. Forced Teaming - Creating an articificial bond between them and the victim that isn't really there. "Hey, we're in this same boat together."
5. The Unsolicited Promise - Making promises to the victim that the victim didn't ask for. "Come on Jennifer, we'll stay for only a half hour. Just a half hour."
6. Flattery - Pump up the ego and the victim can be disarmed and led.
7. The Reverse Dare - "I bet you're the kind of person who is," afraid, paranoid, over-protective ,etc. to do what the predator is asking. To which the victim will rise to the bait and adamantly deny they were that kind of person and they'll do what the predator asked just to prove it.
A predator can play these seven strategies up and down like a musical scale. One minute flattering, the next discounting their lack of independence, they use charm, niceness and flattery to pull the victim close, then clinch the deal with creating a bond that isn't there, and giving unasked for gifts and promises.
Be careful. A predator is a sociopath who believes they are smarter than other people. It is a game to them to manipulate.
Greg Newton
* These strategies were taken from Gavin De Becker's excellent book on child protection, Protecting the Gift.