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The Fear of Success
 
 
omad0n omad0n is offline
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03-02-2010, 04:06 PM
 
Hello all,

I'm writing today to share with you a bit of my own experience and my current fear. Specifically, my fear of Success. Hopefully, in writing it will help give me more insight, as well as potentially help those of you who may run into a similar situation

As many of you may know I've been having a lot of success with my weight loss and workouts. Since starting GUTS I've shed off an additional 13 lbs to be added to the other 27 that came before it. Currently I'm at a lower weight then I've been in at least a decade. I'm even within 2lbs of being at the nice slim weight of 145lbs. It would appear that things are looking up, and that all is well. However taking a look a little deeper shows that's not quite the case.

My workout log shows that I've been working out less regularly with GUTS, or with any workout for that matter, and I can tell you all that my calorie counting has fallen off for the last couple weeks. The up side is that my weight has remained fairly stable, which means the changes I've made to my overall diet and life are sticking, and keeping me level. I've been able to keep progressing with climbing, and this new weight makes some moves a lot easier then they used to be.

The downside is I've not made any progress on getting to the weight goal, and I'm certain I've lost some of my GUTS strength. So what gives, why the decreased regularity. I've been muling it over for several days now, and even discussed it with my fiancÚ. Ultimately I think it's fear that's holding me back.

Fear plays an important role in our lives, it helps keep us out of danger, and keep us sharp in situations. However, there are times where it also becomes somewhat debilitating. In my case this fear is related to success.

You see, I honestly can't remember (aside from recently) when I last looked at a scale and was below 150lbs. Nor can I really recall being so close to the 145lb goal, which I've had since late high school. I have memories of dancing around 152lbs, but not being able to break that barrier. I also have felt the sting of watching my weight go up from there 20-30lbs at times.

Each time it went up I have brought it back down, but never getting to that dreamed of 145lbs. After many attempts and being unable to hit my big goal though, I gave up on it, adjusting it and changing my dream.

I write today at a weight of 147.6lbs, standing at the edge of one of my most longed after goals, and something totally amazing. I am at the doorstep of being the weight I always wanted to be, and yet I'm sabotaging myself.

For me, I've found it's the fear of not knowing what comes next. Of pushing myself to the limit, and finding out there might be even more in me. It's scary though, it's unknown. It has been comforting in a way to have known all these years what I was working towards. But, now that I'm almost there the comfort of familiarity must fall away as I step towards the future.

In writing this I've found some of my answers, some of my courage and resolve, but would gladly hear from the rest of you. Thoughts or ideas on how I can keep my motivation up, how I can hit this goal. How I can take this Fear of Success and turn it into a milestone and look back on with pride.
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Getting fit not only requires strength and determination, but the discipline to do what is necessary to reach your goals.
 
 
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Kevin Nickerson Kevin Nickerson is offline
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03-02-2010, 04:34 PM
 
Fear melts when you take action towards a goal you really want.
Robert G Allen
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Be thine own palace, or the world's thy jail !-John Don
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
C S Lewis
 
 
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michael michael is offline
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03-02-2010, 05:11 PM
 
I think Jim Rohn said this,"It's not the blowing of the wind,It's the set of the sail ."The same wind blows on us all."That includes the fear of success.It happens to us all."It's what you do with that fear."Maybe you just need a change in your workout or were you workout.Maybe try Joe Justice's 2/3rd routine in place of your GUTS WORKOUT.
God Bless
 
 
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Andy62 Andy62 is offline
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03-02-2010, 05:24 PM
 
Part of it is fear of success,but it is also fear of leaving the familiar, the predictable, and the known. I have been through a lot of change in my life and I have watched myself and monitored my feelings as I have experienced the changes. All of our day to day lives are based largely on habits, predictability and equilibrium. All of your friends, our families , our business associates, and everyone that we have regular contact with us has expectations of us [ many of which are subconscious] that are based on past experiences. Everything in our lives is based on the thoughts that we think and the emotions that those thoughts engender. As our thinking changes our lives will change and our relationships with those around us will change. I came across a very extreme example of this a number of years ago when a woman friend of mine was assigned to the Fat Floor of a major hospital. The patients on that floor in many cases weighed 400, 500 and even 600 pounds. They were put on that floor because heroic measures needed to be taken as their weight was endangering their very lives. Many of the patients on that floor were women and many of them lost hundreds of pounds. The unpredicable result was that after many of these women lost weight their husbands filed for divorce. It seems that many men who marry extremely overweight women do so because they don't represent the threat that more normal ,more attractive women do. A number of these men had mothers who were very promiscuous and had a lot of sexual partners in addition to their fathers. Marrying a very over weight woman was the form of a defense mechanism that they came up with to avoid the same situation happening to them. That is a very extreme example ,but it illustrates the point.

As you go through changes just monitor your feelings and take small steps [ lilly pad to lilly pad across the pond] Don't be too hard on yourself if you fall back from time to time as you can just start again from where you are. Developing an ability to change is like developing a muscle and the ability develops with practice. I actually got to the point where I looked forward to challenges and couldn't wait to attact them. At this point I can change any emotion that I have simply as an act of will. In the process don't forget to include the "Power Meditation" exercises in Transformetrics: Isometrics, DVR/VRT and Isometric Power Flexing as they send your thought impluses directly to the center on your mind where they can be acted on.

"Within everyone one of us is an 'evolutionary success principle' placed there by the creator to help us survive and succeed in an ever changing universe...........
The exercises, as you know, are merely the vehicle by means of which the nervous system is aroused to greater activity through the intense application of the mind in producing resistance and rigidity of the muscles....I have now given you enough instructions for stressing your Conscious Energy through exercising to yield ultimately for you such results as you desire"

Alois P. Swoboda
 
 
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Greg Newton Greg Newton is offline
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03-02-2010, 10:05 PM
 
Hi Steve,

I admire your candor and enjoyed your post. I am sure it was a good reflective exercise. Something I've seen, not necessarily with physical fitness, but sometimes people sabotage a success they are capable of, because they are afraid of the responsibilities that go with winning. I am not saying this is the case with you, but I do find this an interesting phenomenon.

I had a student last year who trained hard to participate in a job skill demo and probably could have medalled. However, he no showed the contest, arriving after the awards ceremony that afternoon. My gut instinct was that he was afraid he would have succeeded and would had the responsibility of competing in the national arena next. This was too much for him.

I have seen this as well with some of my teaching peers with competitions and with projects. They will take things to a certain level, but then they will do something stupid and avoidable that will put them out of the running. It as if the fear of succeeding is more frightening than failure.

Regardless, excellent post. You have a good writing style I enjoy.

Greg Newton
 
 
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JoeJustice JoeJustice is offline
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03-03-2010, 08:28 AM
 
You're afraid of becoming the King, brother!!

You ever read on of those revenge stories where the serf was wronged by the nobleman who killed his family, burned his village and called him a "wenus" while he sat and watched? Then he goes into the world and trains and learns how to fight with the only thought on his mind killing the nobleman and and draping his dead body like an afghan outside of the castle window! His mind is set and nothing deters him from his goal, not even women, though they do slow him down a bit!

Then come the night before he's about to engage in the final, epic battle where he'll finally crush the nobleman - who by now is King of course - turn his castle to rubble and feed his army into a wood chipper. His current winch says to him, "All you think about is the King!" You know, cuz she's sick of being on the back burner. Then she adds, "What will you do once he is dead? What will happen then?"

So then the hero gets all melancholy, right? And he's brooding about just exactly what he is gonna do next and he says to the woman, "Hey, you don't gotta go away angry, babe. But you gotta go away." While he sits and thinks. But then before you know it, it's morning and it's time to start cracking skulls.

So our hero grabs his broad-sword, rallies the troops and wades into the fray! With both hands on his sword he hews men in two and no one can stand against him. Then he enters the throne room and the king is in sight! Right there it is, the goal of his life and that weighty crown atop his brow. So what's it gonna be? You get one, you get the other.

Now if I were writing this story, I'd have the hero crack open the king's head and wrench the crown from his bloodied hair! Then hold it aloft to the crowd as his loyal second in command yells out, "Hail to the king!"

Then let come what may. BOOYAH!

-Joe

P.S. Also, hero has gotta be holding the girl when he finally holds up the crown. You know how it goes, she gotta be in there somewhere.
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jan jan is offline
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03-04-2010, 09:13 AM
 
Steve,

fear is the roadblocker to success. Even the smallest amount of fear will keep you from reaching your goals. Set your goals, visualise yourself successfull, and then just let go, and work. Never think that you will not reach your goal. Act as if you have already reached it. You WILL succeed!

Jan
 
 
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Andy62 Andy62 is offline
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03-04-2010, 11:07 AM
 
Take the "risk" necessary to do what you want to do. As I look at people that I know who are my contemporaries;the most miserable ones that I know are not the ones who failed,but rather the ones who didn't try and give it a shot. They will never know what might have been.

"If you don't do your own thing and you aren't authentic your life counts for nothing" There was no reason for you to have been here.
 
 
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jonlclay jonlclay is offline
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03-04-2010, 11:37 AM
 
Steve,

Thanks for sharing your story. I would also agree with Greg, I believe a lot of folks are scared (maybe me too) that in order to shed weight, you absolutely have to give up things in your life that you've come to accept as normal. Will I have to eat less calories forever, will I have to put in extra workouts in order to lose the weight. A lot of people aren't sure what their lives will be like when they reach a certain weight goal and are scared that they will have to continue doing all the things that they did to get there.

I for one would like to hear back from folks here who have successfully lost a lot of weight and what is different now than during their transformation.

A lot has to do with faith in the goal.

Just my 2 cents, for what it's worth.

Jon
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Andy62 Andy62 is offline
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03-04-2010, 11:52 AM
 
I lost 20 pounds pretty rapidly taking Chisel several months ago. Prior to losing that last 20 pounds I had taken off a little over 20 other pound in the previous two years just doing Transformetrics. The last 20 pounds that I took off using Chisel was very easy as I was never hungry and I have maintained with no problem. I had my doctor check out Chisel and it is all vitamins and minerals with no drugs. At this point I do have more energy and going down another pants size was great. I am now back to the upper end of my college wrestling weight from 50 yrears ago. I feel like I can pull up trees by the roots- not bad at age 71.
 
 
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