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Doc Moore's Musings on Life and DST
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John Peterson John Peterson is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2008
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03-11-2018, 09:25 AM
Hello Everyone,

Did you all 'Spring Forward'? I have one friend that did not and will not...It's my friend Doc Moore. I always get a kick out of his 'laugh your ass off funny' (as Uncle Wally would say) musings on life. Here is Doc's wisdom on Daylight Savings Time and what animals you really need to fear--or at least have enough sense to be aware of.

I'm always in my own time zone...

Daylight savings time? It's an anachronism. It serves no particular value. Kind of like an electric typewriter or UHF antennas. As a non-conformist and independent thinker -- fck daylight savings time.

"The barbecue industry and the golf industry lobbied Congress to keep the silly thing alive. That’s not a joke – it just sounds like one. When the sun sets later, people have more time and spend more money to barbecue and golf."

By not springing forward, I will be an hour late for all of those fcked up social events that my tramp du jour will insist that I attend.

Farmers especially hate daylight saving time. Try milking a jetlagged cow.

I recently read an article that said that the most dangerous animals (cause most deaths) are:

1. farm animals
2. domestic dogs
3. bees and wasps.

They neglected to credit humans.

Nobody but farmers knows the value of staying away from farm pigs. Fearless, strong, and unimpressed by all humans: they are to be avoided.

A friend in High School had a hog operation. His dad owned a thousand+ acres. He told me all about those hogs. One day, he was in an enclosure and one of them pinned him against the fence. He thought he would get killed. Serendipitously, on the fence post sat a ball-peen hammer. He grabbed the hammer and hit the hog/pig/boar (whatever the fck it was) in the side of the face, with enough force to knock out a long tooth and render the animal senseless -- for the few seconds it took my friend to hurdle the fence. He said, without the luck of the ball-peen hammer, he wouldn't have survived it...

A documentary showed a video of a wild horse that had a mountain lion by the back of the neck and was slamming/more slamming -- the lion on the ground until it was lifeless. The lion was a big animal but it had made a very bad mistake in challenging a horse.

Reminds me of when we were shit-faced in college. On the route home from an exchange with the Gamma Phi Beta sorority, we noticed a horse in a pasture at 2:00 AM. Hills and dales. I climbed onto the horse. Saddleless and bridleless. That horse ran a 1/4 mile through a grove/thicket, and then did a 90 degree turn. I was airborne for 5 seconds. I hit the ground hard, just missing a large tree. My cohorts were flummoxed as the horse returned sans rider.

I guess the donkeys on St. John in the U.S. Virgin Islands are dangerous as fck. And the locals know it. Donkeys hit the roads and the trails and come into town. Big, tough, and fearless: one look at their teeth and you see the value in hiding off of the trail and letting them go by. If I was a wild donkey on St. John I would rush everything I saw just for the fun of it. Hee haw...

Besides, it's fashionable to arrive a bit late. Makes for a 'Great Gatsby" style entrance...

---John Peterson
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